I am to blame for my child’s intersexed genetics??
My child came to me requesting all and any pictures of them as the opposite sex to be removed & not displayed anymore. I had, so I thought, accepted the fact of them (singular) being different. I have never held sexuality as a definition of a person. Whom you love & how one is to feel whole is solely their journey. I have always viewed sexuality as spirituality…it is one’s own journey to what brings joy and happiness void of harm to another.
I digress, I can not remove the past quarter century. I will not deny myself the fond memories & history. When I had spoke MY FEELINGS I got lashed out at by their (singular) tongue of what a horrible mother I am. Since it makes THEM (singular) feel uncomfortable I am to remove it all from my existence as well??? Am I being insensitive & selfish for not wanting to throw away what has always brought me great pride & joy?? My heart bleeds out for the path that is being taken…..can I NOT have my feelings as well? I am being dictated towards and now a form of bullying to get their way by being hostile towards me.
I have done nothing but do what I’ve always done & that’s love my children regardless of orientation. They BOTH fully know this, VERY WELL & I am buffaloed on how this child’s anger & hostility has been mutated & placed onto me because I choose NOT to forget the past that has helped build me into who I am today. It is seriously sad that this child is not proud of their past & their accomplishments & us as a family growing up.
This child left our house at 17 when I had put down an ultimatum: get your shit together & stop the partying or maybe it’s time to go live w/your dad. They (singular) picked moving out & plunged into a dark world of heavy drugs and ill behaviors. I have not seen that child since then. They morphed into someone I am not privy to knowing because “this person” is always coming AT ME not TO ME.
I, also believe, the dr.s are seriously wrong in administering body altering hormones while this young adult is NOT stable in residence, employment, or emotionally. Still on government regulated medication that was to only be in place for a year due to hardcore addictions. It has morphed much longer now. The state is paying for this alteration & not taking into consideration of their patients stability of living situation or other extending environmental factors to the well mental & physical health of their patient.
Shame on them (the dr’s) & I guess shame on me for not being willing to throw away the past quarter century of my life……too!
I close for now…..my health has been pretty poor recently & this as a new stresser is not what I was looking for.