A Mile A Minute

Help! you see me drowning here?
I’m flounder in past thoughts; OH, DEAR!
My feeling have lost their true meanings
I’m losing the battle & you can’t save me

I wallow in my past history which only brings misery;
So, my mother use to tell me
You & your judgment I no longer believe
(that’s from me & my everlasting PTSD)

I do not wallow; I am better than that
I do not pity party, I haven’t the money in fact
Yet, I surely bleed when I do that awful deed
Slippery steel that brings me back to reality

That I have confessed
Fighting back the best
Depression is quite the feat to beat
An ugly old devious beast to meet

My mind’s a receptacle for everything obsolete
Wasting on random thoughts; feeling defeat
Now, I wish I could lay my head down & sleep
I am over this fighting; please go away i plead

Not safe when in this horrible place
Don’t ya know I can’t even stand my own face….
My mind trying trying to eat away @ my peace & grace
…What a disgrace awful thoughts…so misplace…by mistake