I get off, yes….’get off’ on reading other blogs. I don’t always comment or like but it’s so interesting to look into others lives when they wouldn’t normally expose about themselves. It is liberating to watch so many people reach out & speak out. WE are all IMPORTANT in what it is we have to share!! Not only is it therapeutic but it can be very spiritual as well. To see the essence of another. To feel their pain and joy. Not everyone is as talented in writing (as myself) but it is worth it.
My “share” for today (forewarning) is about my beautiful boyfriend who does his best in coping w/me & my mental illnesses. You know, the boyfriend that I was having a fit about; not too long ago. LOL….well, today is a new day and my clarity seems much better today than is has in a while.
My bf is so sweet, he takes interest in what it is I write. I was married for 17 yrs [divorced 10 yrs now] w/never once a caring, understanding, approach had ever been given to me…….guess it wasn’t a requirement; at that time. He (my bf) is supportive, loving, caring, compassionate, and SEXY! What does that really mean? It means that I am petrified that I’ll lose this relationship w/one of many of my quirks, antics, episodes, attitude. Work in progress is my fav. Saying (as you’ll find out).
A little hisotry, he & I have been dating 2 yrs (going on 3) & just recently moved in together. WHAT A TRYING TIME. All the way down to our sleeping we are doing mass compromising. The main reason being is that he’s never been married, no kids, no long term relationship as an adult & over all just himself to care for. He’s taken on a whole family now at the age of 40. I can no longer create a bigger family but I even fantasized, a bit, about he & I having a child together. I believe he’d make a wonderful father but that was not in his cards (or at this time)….he said he’s only had one urge & that’s when his grandpa asked him to carry on the family name & have a boy. You know old school…lol….I am fearful that his urge to have a child will grow stronger and he’ll HAVE to look elsewhere….I would NOT be ENOUGH….<sigh>
….My fears creeping in on me. Peeshaw, I will not let anything stand in my way of happiness anymore and whichever path it is I go down is where I will be HAPPY! IE: no matter what happens or what choices get made….I will always strive for happiness and the one’s I love… I ONLY wish the best, even if it means we part. Heck, those I don’t know I wish no ill will & happiness to put smiles back on people’s faces…..life is NOT short, it can be painfully LONG! Which is it you choose?
Much Love & Light~~~