I was controlled my whole life and people newly involved in my life, I am sure, wonder why I am so behind in the confidence in myself. No one can see what it is I carry in this shell. I’m glad! I have no memories as a child (for most are horrible) my teen years are the same…no memories. My memories hadn’t started until my daughter was born (I was 20). I gauge time frames by the ages of my children. LOL…..I don’t know what that says about me but my memories now as my children are getting older are going back to fading from day to day. I am on such a stress overload it’s insane….a boyfriend who can’t handle my ex in “our” lives when I’ve had 2 children w/that man REGARDLESS of what happened between he & I (my ex & I) there are children involved & grownup need be just that “Grown” ….Yet, he’s given me the ultimatum that either I can cut ALL AND ANY contact w/my ex husband or he will NOT be able to TOLERATE it….i apologized that he was not capable of understanding…& held back the tears until he was far out of my room…then i have a 14 yr old who’s going insane on me. Never wanting to be home. Running w/his friends regardless of consequences it’s worth it to him. Then i have a recovering 24 yr old daughter. She struggles with many things & i’m one of them. <sigh> Then there IS the crazy ex husband of 17 yrs….he won’t leave me alone & it’ s so passive aggressive there is no way for me to stop his subtle harassment & you can imagine that would infuriate the one i was with……..