Filled with doubt; aggrieving
Not even myself; should I fully believe
History of me trusting wrongly; unfortunately 
Even be .. people who had, once, called me family

I do not wish to repeat any of our long lost trust
You were void of love & filled with sexual lust
Bitterly, I devoid of your chivalry for me
I found your lies an excuse by need

I Laid all mine on the infinite fine line--unlike your kind
Avoidance, many do; only they are spineless, too
I can never rewind the hands of your crimes
I wanted to show you all the time

I validated your pain that I had caused
Addressed & discussed all my faults & flaws
Asking you to please understand and not reprimand
Giving me the chance to show you my cards; only to discard

I protest!
Why undress this mess
Air my dirty laundry; confess
You are the one who didn't stop & rest

You failed all tests in flying colors
We where once very happy lovers
You ditched me undercover
Like no other

I will always love you no matter how big the messes
Completely uttered Forgiveness'es; defenselessness'es
Unconditional love has been my desired journey/quest
If I am still seeking it what exactly have I sought

I could only prove my seriousness of my sincerity 
I want all of it given back to me plus the rest
Don't rip my heart right out of my chest
You've come close but haven't confessed

Your past lies & complete lack of respect
Your behavior back then, you contest
Yet, I know better than the rest
You, to totally digress

Too many weeks to have passed 
More like 2 & 1/2; If I were you to ask
Back to old habits; I see you slipping
Ticking, tapping, type-type

Giggling, you might
laughter & delight
Saw it the other day
For a little awhile

Is it time for me to pass your torch? 
Please, be free and let me know & I'll concede
It is time for me to leave..never to be deceived
No longer will I bleed
BUT 
I'll 
Always
Believe
Loving
Thee
 Sincerely,
Me

 

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