Sweet Dreams & Rude Awakenings

She Butts It

Packing her single stick
She brings it up to her ruby lips
Lighting the very tip of it

Taking in a long draw
She pulled on it like a straw
It was her one nasty flaw

First, the taste on her tongue
Deep into her damaged lungs
Oxygen, it so does expunge

With a small subtle cough
She quietly scoffs
Cursing, once again, to lay off

This to be her very last stick
That will end this horrible nightmar’ish trip
Before it’s too late for her to quit

She Butts It……………



It first started with a needle & a prick
13 yrs old and already tired of it
Half hearts & she, still, was never to quit

Behind each lie they tried to sell her
What they had wanted her to believe
Bought, were, when young & naive

Knew not to trust their sweetened words
Always to understandably conceive
They were never to have matched their deeds

Through her spirit; her scars dug deep
The temple she’d given, felt so incomplete
Bloodletting behind the feeling of utter defeat

Her heart, emotionally wrecked, soiled & stained
Speaking, not out loud, about her turbulent pain
They’d berate her intelligence; deeply in vain

Her secret she was solely to let go
An addiction it had seemed to grow
A place where she’d go & no one would know

Her blood, she drew to the paper
Absorbing each word that would spill
Dripping of her pain-filled soul with every drop

Never to fully stop………


Penance Was Her Name

Their Ill ways needing redemption
Their deeds of merciless vengeance
Immorality birthed from their conception

Hardship in this world, as you did grow
Foreboding’ly caged & in your mind a zoo
Sanity had slipped past before you knew

Your keeper hath run far to forget you
No more bars nor gates to make you hesitate
It’s time for you to forage ahead; no more dread

Sneers, glares, and back hairs hack’eld
Personalities, those of vicious jackals; displayed
Dankest of their minds exposed; sick serenade

Wanting to be squared away & sane
Reveal what’s inside is a dangerous game
You go to explain, luci’didly, summarily………….

….you broke down & wept…….
Not able to take any more of it
Hiding behind masks chipped, cracked, & w/dents

You mentally undress
Slowly to confess your mess
……..You are clearly insane & inept

A child birthed of vengeance
Life full of torment due to other’s repentances
Yet, that child received a full life sentence

Penance Was Her Name

Two Switch

To fade to black
Don’t need to ask
Eyes glassed over; fallen mask

Screaming & bantering to stop
Wrong choices & decisions
Now made more, than not

Holding on, as long as she’d embrace
Slipping slowly & further away
Into the blackness she’d decided to stay

What has happened
Where’d she go
Who was it now; exposed?

A life, living across the lines
Feeling the shifts & losing time
Unable to explain into rhyme

A personality borderline of some kind
That’s how they diagnosed those kind
No pills or practicality of any kind


Blessed be the new day to me
Yet, further in my core it’s crying why it be?
Why another day walking around as me?

Why’s It so hard to be steady?
Why so hard to be ready?
What’s the big fucking deal?

One day it’s blossoms and bliss
Next it’s the devil & she’s pissed
Others not of such significance

Barely able to hear & loss of ability to speak
Screaming help as you’re drown out
Another one has taken your place; checked-out

Back from the mirror you see
A complete stranger to thee
OMG what & who do you be?

A complete mutation of what you’d see
Lesser you look the more your soul is free
Stop counting on others to understand or believe

We all live w/in our rationality
Who’s to say what you believe is not to be conceived
It’s time to set free those hindering falsehoods that be


I’ve lost my mind over time
I feel the shifts as they go amiss
One to pop up and ruin all of it

I see the changes in my thoughts
I wish I could explain more; a lot
It’s like an invasion of someone else’s thoughts

New emotions to permeate the skin & w/in
To twist and manipulate what was just then
Taking over, kinda like, for a friend…only to mend

Fighting for life as one is all ready dead
Too many thoughts creating confusion instead
Needing shifts to just stop within the head

Bantering & berating all, is what they do
It’s really NOT ME but YOU….haha…..who would’a knew
I wish there was a way to tell you anyway…..

…..I didn’t ask or provoke this in such way
It’s so taxing in and of every which way
I’m getting older & tired of living this way

Please help those w/mental illnesses in any capacity


Her jealous peers
prying eyes & every jeer

Their heinous girly snarling glares
She, wishing a way, to forever never to care
She, to have always felt to never fully compare

Ignorance hath bee their true blissfulness; indeed
They, to know no better and to get dismissed away?
Forgiven not, their err’ical mis’credences of ways!

Trickery in every word and their very meanings
Wanting no more of foul filled dealings
Slicing still very sensitive feelings

Her condescending family demons
They are misgoverned heathens
Dissing more than real reasons

Her to burn the bridge & run
Live & try to have some fun
That’s where it all had begun

Knowingly, she sees
They meant it
To bee




Candy Bar; Devoured

Gently with how you handle your sweet
Snack pack or grand daddy treat
Your package, need be, tidy & neat

Slide your fingers down the seam
Wanting’ly to fill your mouth w/nougat creme
Salivating as you get caught up in the daydream

Delicately looking for the opening to crack
Twisting it over to expose the back
Tear it not, nor rip it wide open; on the spot

Slide your finger into that crease
Gently spreading apart to expose that masterpiece
Your fantasy hath come alive; sortofspeak

Before you know it, you slide it in
Thrusting it in as far as it will ascend
Not thinking of how quickly it might end

You can’t hold back anymore;
You rupture in a sweet frenzied fit
& that was the end of it……..

Another Time

About to swallow that last sip of her mixed drink
Wanting to stop it all, just let it settle; sink
Wondering & pondering; yet, trying not to think

Unable to handle any passive aggressive toxicity
Not in a position to responsibly deal w/it
In her heart, always knew she’d never to fit

Keeping her kept……
She’s mentally inept!

Collapsing; suffering more whilst quite sane
Memories & visions of what has all became
Wading out of those muddled waters; once claimed

A lifetime she lost, is to what, it all cost
Happiness, below her hidden tears
Lurking alone, 4 empty walls, for years

Slicing and dicing was her pleasure to pain
Her habit was the worst of all; unconstrained
She couldn’t stop the whisperings’ in her name

The tones to carry thousands of feelings & thoughts
Saying too little; caring, more than least not
Their arrogance bequeaths burnt pride; a settled score

She to give less, to those who created the mess
Boundaries built & not willing to digress
She is sorry, she can not accept their request

She, will always cherish but chooses to step outta line
Please know you’re not far from her mind!
You both shared some beautiful times…

She can rewind……”please, no drama this time!”
For, her, this is best…..They, let it to rest!
She hopes you have a good time & wishes you the best!


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